insecurities
by loner29
Summary: insecurity.. it is a natural human emotion but what does it actually mean? jealousy stems out from insecurity and jealousy could ruin even the most beautiful relationship
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I dont own hana yori dango or the song underneath.. so please, please dont sue me or anything of the sort..

on the bridge, i know it says _he_ but just change it into a _she_ in your head..

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**Insecurity**

by Nikki Flores

Verse 1:  
I'm standing here right in front of you  
They still stay the same  
Then i hear u say I love you  
And my worries dissapear  
Makes me wonder why i can't let it go  
Theres no reason why i should feel alone  
But i hide behind my skin afraid of what's within

Chrous:  
It's my insecurity  
It's not you it's me  
I'm my worst enemy  
It's my insecurity  
Just wanna be perfect in your eyes  
(perfect in your eyes)

Verse 2:  
Now I know that you loved me for me  
But its so hard  
I've been hurt so many times  
But you never lit the sky baby

Makes me wonder why i can't let it go  
(i can't let it go)  
There's no reason why I should feel alone  
But I hide behind my skin  
Afraid of what's within

Chrous:  
It's my insecurity  
It's not you it's me  
I'm my worst enemy  
It's my insecurity  
Just wanna be perfect in your eyes  
(perfect in your eyes)

Bridge:  
All I really want is love  
All I really need is  
He's all mine  
So tell me why im so afraid so afraid  
Of something i already had yeahh

chorus:  


It's my insecurity  
It's not you it's me  
I'm my worst enemy  
It's my insecurity  
Just wanna be perfect in your eyes  
(perfect in your eyes)

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: i dont own hana yori dango

if this story has any kind of similarities with plots of other stories then great minds think alike!! hahahah!! im joking!! but seriously, i didnt intend to do so..

please bear with me.. the characters maybe out of their characters at some point..

please review!

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Domyouji Tsukasa had a bad day at work. All day he wasn't able to do any work, nothing of the report of his latest merger went in his head, it just went though one ear and out of the other. This wasn't a first though, for the past couple of weeks he's never done a good thing in his wife's eye. Everything he does irritates her or is just not good enough for her. Bickering was never out of the equation for both of them, it was the foundation and the backbone of their love but it is just getting too much for him. Even the great Domyouji Tsukasa has his limits. He loves her, that's for sure no one would be able to deny the obvious fact; his very existence is because of her. He lives for and because of Tsukushi.

It was already late when he came home, only a few lights were left on, the servants were probably asleep. When he got in the room, his eyes landed on his sleeping wife. '_So beautiful'_ he thought, '_why can't you be always like this, quiet and loving?_' as he tenderly kissed her on the lips. Forget everything that she's done, the important thing is his love for her, their love for each other or is it a one way love? Is her love slowly disipitating? Is she going to change into who his mother is? Or was? Yes, his mother changed her opinion of Tsukushi and now like Tsubaki, his mother would do anything and everything for his Tsukushi. Yet somewhere in his mind, he has always been afraid that somehow she would change like the others, that she would forsake love and go for the money.

He had heard the story of his mother, he now know why she was the way she was. It was because she was forced to marry his dad and not the one she loved. Before he would not have believed that Domyouji Kaede, the queen, the witch, the old hag could express emotions other than anger and love for money. He is afraid and insecure; afraid that Tsukushi was forced and pressured to marry him, that she doesn't truly love him as he loves her, insecure about Rui being her first love and the close friendship that they have.

That night was followed by many more late-night comings. He goes to work early and works all day until late in the night, he'll then find Tsukushi already asleep hugging his pillows. Imagine his surprise when he came home expecting to continue his routine only to find his wife sitting up against the headboard while reading a book.

"Why are you late?" asked Tsukushi.

"Work" he answered as he walked up to her and gave her a quick kiss.

"What's so important with work that you're never home?"

"This is my work, it is my responsibility to run the company just like how the rest of the F4 have to fulfil their duties as the heir to each of our businesses. I have to work my brain out for the whole day trying to get more out of each deal better than the other company does" answered Tsukasa as he changed into more comfortable clothing.

"Yeah but I'm your wife, aren't I important to you too? You are scaring me do you know that? You are becoming more and more like the old Kaede" Tsukushi is now close to tears, only controlling them by tightening her hold on the book.

Tsukasa was baffled, this isn't his Tsukushi. The Tsukushi he knows or rather knew wasn't demanding in terms of affection, truth be told she shies away whenever he shows his affections publicly. She never shows her true emotions and NEVER cries in front of anyone, she was never the emotional 

one. But now, this person in front of him is the exact opposite, she might have the same face, body and smell of his Tsukushi but her personality changed. His jealousy and insecurities got the better out of him, was it all a pretense? Was she going to be like most of the girls he very much hated? 'No please don't'.

"Haven't I told you time and time again that you are my priority, the girl I would ever choose?"

"Yeah, you say that but I don't feel it anymore. It's like you've changed, you're not my same old baka anymore, now you're Domyouji Tsukasa, the dragon of the business world" Tsukushi replied now openly crying.

"What, I changed? You are the one who changed and how could you say that I am turning into my mother's old self? If anyone changed, it's you or are you still in love with Rui that you are making all of this to escape from me, our marriage just to go back running to your first love's arms? For fuck's sake Tsukushi—" whatever he was going to say was cut off by Tsukushi's slap.

"How can you? Just how can you say that? Is that what you really think of me deep inside you? You think I'll go running back to him when I'm already married? If that's what I wanted in the first place then I should've done it a long time ago, when he told me he loved me but I chose you, I chose you even though you have no memory of me. When you kept saying that I was his woman, I didn't give up, I fought for you, for our love. I chose you, married you because you are the one that I love." Tsukushi then ran towards the door and slammed it shut behind her. She ran, ran away from him.

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thanks for bearing with me.. so whatcha think?

if you ask me, i'll be honest.. i hated myself for writing this!!  
i love them both but somehow this idea worked its way to my mind and i just had to write it..

so be honest, tell me what u think..  
if many dont like it, i can change the status and make it a oneshot although its not a TxT story..

lotza love,  
loner29

xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: i dont own hana yori dango

it might seem confusing at first but please bear with me  
please review..

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A lone figure stood in the middle of a big room. Dressed in an Armani suit and gazing out of the window without any care on what is going on around him, he looked taller and more handsome if it were even possible. He was in a different world, a world where he is happy and complete. He knows it is a dream but he'd rather live in a dream than live in a reality full of nightmares. While in his dream world, his right hand unconsciously fiddled with his left ring finger. A ring, a shape which has no end, a symbol representing union, the ring that symbolises that their love has no end. He smirked, oh what irony life is, for such a simple thing mean so much to him and hurt him badly at the same time.

Crazy one might think, yes he might be slowly going crazy. Crazy from hurting too much that he wanted to die, crazy for wanting to find his happiness so much so that he wanted to live forever just to get it back. It has been six years, six long years since he had last seen her. He can clearly remember that night, the night when he lost her, his wife, his happiness, his life. 'Happy Birthday Tsukushi, I'm sorry, I love you...please come back to me' he thought as the door opened revealing Nishida carrying some documents.

In the middle of a crowd a woman stood out amongst everyone else, she is absolutely stunning. Many say she is lucky to be so beautiful, so perfect in every way. Today is her birthday, being the daughter of one of the wealthiest man in Europe meant that many rich people were invited, however, this didn't mean that only magnate, heirs and heiresses were invited, middle-class people were invited too.

She smiled to everyone who greeted her, however the smile never reached her eyes; deep inside her, she's wishing for one person to greet her, to smile at her like he once did. It had been six years of pain and longing; six years since her parents died in a car accident. Her eyes started to tear up as she remember what happened. It was her fault, she knows she's the reason why they died even though everyone insisted it was an accident. She almost couldn't believe it, she lost people she loves the most in a matter of days.

Her parents, together with Susumu were on their way to support and comfort her after they hearing what happened between the couple when the accident took place. A drunk driver swerved sharply round the corner, hitting their car. Both Makino Haruo and the driver died instantly as the result of the impact. Makino Chieko and Susumu were rushed to the hospital as soon as the accident was reported. Susumu's legs were badly affected while one of Chieko's major artery was damaged leading to her death. Her life shifted from a fairytale into the worst position a person could ever be in. Even a weed couldn't possibly withstand what she had to go through.

"Are you alright love? What's wrong, why are you crying?" Helen asked as she saw the tears building up in her eyes.

"Yes mum, I'm fine. I'm just thankful for everything. I wish papa and mama were here too, then the family will be complete".

"Don't worry, I'm sure they are watching over us right now and I know that they are happy because we're happy for you" Ross added as he gave her a hug.

"Mummy!!" yelled a boy as he ran over to her. "Happy birthday mummy, I love you" as he kissed her all over her face.

"Thank you baby, and I love you too" she replied as she hugged him closer not caring about ruining her dress.

"Happy birthday Jo, you're really old now", joked James.

"Really now, I'm only a few years older than you and I'm not old, that man is" she pointed at the man coming their way.

"Shut it Jo, you know that's not true and hey, for once in your life you should be nice, it's your birthday you know, if people see you like that they might not give their presents, you'll have to wait for another year.." Jack said as he walked up to hug her, "Happy Birthday".

"Thanks, that's exactly my point, you should be nice to me even if it's only for a day, some brothers you are, ganging up on your sister. At least Josh here loves me, right baby?"

"Of course I love mummy" Josh said as he once again hugged her.

The rest of the night went by quickly. She felt thankful and overwhelmed to know that so many people love and support her. Ross Davies is her father's best friend, she vaguely remembered her father recounting their little adventures and the punishment they had to endure. Though both had different upbringing, they overlooked their differences and treated each other as brothers. Ross, together with his wife, Helen and son, Jack came during the wake, they supported her and Susumu from the moment they heard the dreadful news. Helen never left her side and comforted her whenever she felt like crying.

Ross and Jack helped Susumu and encouraged him to get better, they even got him a nurse and a private physiotherapist. The Davies family helped the Makino siblings to get over the pain they were going through. Although their friends and even the Domyouji family came to comfort and support her, it just wasn't the same. Ross offered to take them in as he was their godfather after all but they refused, they wanted to live quietly in the fishing village where their parents lived their last few years.

During one of their visits Tsukushi fainted, Jack, being a doctor examined her and later asked her about her health. She had been feeling sick but ignored it thinking that tiredness is taking toll on her body. Jack however had different thoughts, he brought her to be thoroughly checked, when the results came, his suspicions were right, she was pregnant. Tsukushi told them her story when they asked who the father was. It was then that Susumu finally agreed on moving in with them, leaving Tsukushi no choice but to agree. She can never thank them enough for everything that they've done for herself and Susumu.

They then moved to England, Ross being half Japanese and half English and changed their names to Joanna and James Davies. The whole family helped her with her pregnancy; a healthy baby boy was born and given the name Joshua. Joshua's dad, the last person she thought of before drifting to sleep.

"Young master, here are the report regarding the RHJ Corporation" Nishida said as he handed the files.

"Ok, set up an appointment with them" replied Tsukasa as he sat in his chair.

"Yes young master, I'll set up an appointment with Mr Davies" he answered, bowing to him before going out of the office.

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Yosh! another chapter.. i decided to continue this coz i just had to write it down.. it's stuck on my head now..  
and i decided that if i was to write a story, it definately has to be TxT!! (TOTALLY LOVE THEM!)

what did u think?  
please review, it really helps to motivate me to know that the story is appreciated..  
and if u want to suggest some ideas on what'll happen, u are welcome to do so..


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I dont own Hana Yori Dango

the characters may seem out of their characters in the original hyd but please bear with me..  
please review!!

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Domyouji Corporations, the leading company in Japan and now wading its way to be one of the most influential companies in the world. A company worth of billions of yens and dollars, mergers and takeovers being done here and there, the Domyouji family had done well in handling the seemingly over expanding business. Businesses all over the world are eager to make business with them; investing with such a company means ample profit and being associated with a company like the Domyouji Corporation means good business history making their own company bigger. Thus, Domyouji Tsukasa didn't quite expect to hear that RHJ Corporations doesn't have the slightest interest in doing any kind of business with them. This is a very good opportunity to yet again expand both companies but unlike most companies who eagerly grab the offer, the CEO of RHJ Corporations didn't want to make any appointments and politely declined the offer.

Ross Davies didn't take two seconds to decide about the appointment with Domyouji Corporation. He knew it would be a great help for his company but what's the point of having so much money when you can't be happy? He loves Jo and James as much as he loves his own son, Jack and who can forget the Davies' one and only prince, Josh, his grandson. Yes _his_, though they might not be related by blood nevertheless they are one family and he doesn't want anyone to hurt his family, and Japan's Domyouji Tsukasa is no exception. He doesn't want Jo to suffer anymore, the young woman had gone through more than what even a grown up adult had experienced.

He is now on his way to the Nishikado Mansion, earlier on during the day, he got a phone call from Soujiroh asking him to drop by his house. Akira's car was already parked outside and to his surprise even Rui managed to arrive earlier than him. However this surprise was instantly overruled by shock and unbelief as he saw who his three closest friends were talking to.

"Tsukushi..." he said in the quietest voice he can muster, his friends turned around and faced him with sympathy.

"Tsukasa, do you remember Yuki? She just came back from Canada" Akira tried to break the silence.

"Domyouji-san, how are you? Long time no see" Yuki greeted him.

You are Tsukushi's best friend, Yuki right? You guys don't keep secrets between you right? So where is she, do you know where she is? Was she with you in Canada, she was right? Why didn't you bring her with you?" Tsukasa is now holding on to Yuki's shoulder, shaking her in his hope to get some answer.

"Tsukasa let her go" Soujiroh said as all three of them tried to pry Yuki out of his firm hold.

"Tell me where she is, please tell her to come back, please I need her back" he then released Yuki and went on his knees, "please I am begging you just tell me where she is".

"Domyouji-san I wish I knew where she is right now, I'm really sorry but I can't help you as much as I want to."

Tsukasa rose to his feet, grabbed her and started to shake her again, "No you are lying, tell me you are lying" he then suddenly let go of her causing her to fall down only to be caught by Soujiroh. "Please, I want to see her, to talk to her. I need to tell her face to face that I am sorry and that I love her, I love her so much that I'm going to die if she isn't with me please help me".

"Domyouji-san, I'm really sorry but I don't know where she is. I want her to be happy and I know that she can only be truly happy if you are by her side".

With what Yuki said, Tsukasa cried. It is only to Tsukushi that Tsukasa says please and it is almost impossible to think that a great man such as him begs, much more on his knees. He'd never cried in front of people before, he'd rather show them that he can handle everything than make them think of him as a sissy for crying in public, but right now he doesn't care. The world can think whatever they want; all he wants is to be happy again, to be with her again.

It took a while before he calmed down; whatever Soujiroh was going to say had to wait. For the rest of the night there was no more mention of Tsukushi, but before the night ended Soujiroh called for their attention as he stood up along with Yuki. He announced that he is now engaged to Matsuoka Yuki; it turned out that he loved her all along without realizing it.

Insecurity and jealousy, the reasons why he is living the way he is right now, a life of pain and longing. If only he hadn't been insecure about Tsukushi's love for him, if only he wasn't jealous of Tsukushi and Rue's friendship maybe she'd be here by his side right now. What Tsukushi said was right if only he wasn't buried in work his life could've been perfect. He neglected her, he now knew that, he turned like his mother only caring about business and forgetting the fact that he had a wife at home, waiting for him to arrive back home safely. He now knows he's wrong but he learned it the hard way round and it cost him his happiness. If only time could go back he'd definitely correct all his wrong-doings.

He went home thinking about his friends, his closest friends who he treated as his brothers. Soujiroh, Japan's biggest playboy is now getting married to the girl who chased after him neither because of his looks or his money but because she just loves him as himself. Unlike all the other women who saw Soujiroh as a player who charms women to no end but in bed, Yuki saw him as a person who deeply cares for his friends, a person who is afraid of getting hurt that he'd rather hurt other people's feelings. Soujiroh kept pushing her away to the point that she left for Canada, only then did he realize the love he had for her that had unconsciously been concealed in his heart.

He wishes them happiness, he truly does. He might still be in the process of finding his own happiness back but he wants the people he cares for to be happy with their lives. He wants to see the love that is radiating from them and think that someday he can once again feel love radiating from Tsukushi. Except for his family, he treasures his friends the most even if he rarely shows it. He is very thankful for their presence in his life. They had been there for him when his own parents left himm to Tama's care. Each with different qualities, the F4 fitted each other well. There were there for him when Tsukushi left although it ended up quite badly; Soujiroh and Akira lectured him about not taking care of his wife when Rui stood up and punched him not only once but repeatedly. The calm and quiet Rui actually shouted at him. He gave a small sad smile as he remembered that night, the night when Rui hit him back to his senses. There was no more insecurities, no feelings of jealousy, no nothing but with his mind now cleared up he realized one important thing, Tsukushi has gone too.

Before shutting his eyes he stood up, went to the drawer and took a bottle. He sprayed some of the liquid around the room, in the setee, in his bed, in his pillows and the pillows in the empty space next to him. He looked at the bottle, remembering the time when he gave her the personalized perfume. He misses this smell, her scent, the smell of the simple yet sweet lavander. He he closed his eyes and soon entered his dreams, for the past six years this had been his favourite place, a beach where there was only him and Tsukushi.

A month had passed by since Soujiroh's engagement; Yuki and Soujiroh had been busy with wedding arrangements. They decided to have the wedding in February, only four months away; at first Soujiroh wanted to have it before the end of the year but after such fuss, they compromised to have it on Valentines day. Soujiroh wanted an extravagant wedding but Yuki only wanted a small and simple one. At the end of the day, it was both their mothers who came up with a solution: a small wedding with a very elegant setting and of course the most beautiful gown that they could find. Mrs Nishikado was the one who suggested a very talented designer in London so here they are now, in a private plane going to the other side of the world to be measured and fussed about.

Of all the designers that Mrs Nishikado couldve gotten, she chose a gay one. He wasnt bad, in fact he had some very good designs but the F4 had the tendency to dislike gay people. For them, they were worse than the attention-seeking girls they had to endure all their life. Tough luck for the designer though, Yuki didnt like any of the designs. The F4 thought that was the end of it at last they were going out of the suffocating surrounding however, he came back with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Are you looking for a simple yet elegant gown?"

"Yes" answered Yuki.

'_That was what she asked in the first place'_ said Tsukasa in Japanese but the designer wasnt bothered and continued to converse with Yuki.

"Then you might like this, it is simple yet stunning at the same time. This is the first time that I showed that to a customer, you see that is not entirely my work, my close friend added the details to my original design and oh, she is Asian as well, so I thought maybe you'd like it", the designer said as he showed themm the design.

"Oh, this is beautiful" said Yuki and the women as they thoroughly looked at the design.

"I thought so"

"Okay we'll have that design, name the price money doesnt matter" Soujiroh said as he went out of the shop.

The group walked at a nearby park to get some fresh air while Yuki took some pictures as any commoner would do. She was looking through he pictures she had taken when she saw it, what she has seen shocked her that she gasped out loud causing all of them to take a look at it. As soon as they saw it, they looked up and scanned the area and it was then that they saw the familiar face that they all wanted to see.

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First of all, please dont take any kind of offense about the gay designer part. The descriptions were only used for the purpose of the story so dont be mad at me.

Thanks, thank you so much for the reviews. You dont know how happy i am that somebody out there actually reads my story and appreciates the time and brainpower(??) that i use upon writing this.  
keep 'em coming coz they really do help a lot, they make me motivated and my brain thinking.  
Hope i didnt bore you with both the story and my blabbering.

also, sorry for not updating my other story _french fries, french dressing or french girl_. I'm really really sorry i promise that i will update it as soon as an idea pops into my head..

shutting my mouth now or stopping my fingers from typing,

loner29  
xxxx


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: i dont own Hana Yori Dango

dont be confused with who's who,i used Tsukushi and Susumu's new names when describing them except of course when their old friends call them  
ok, i think i just got you even more confused.. just read it and review..

they meet again or just met? find out...

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Jo was stroking Lottie a golden retriever as she listened to her iPod. A small smile graced her lips as Lottie wagged her tail, on one of their holidays, Josh found her whimpering on a Cornish cliff. Cornwall, due to lots of beaches and for the historical stories is held is one of the most popular holiday spot in England so it was quite something that no tourist bothered about helping the poor thing or even calling the RSPCA. From then on, Lottie became the family pet, getting treats from everyone and even little Josh spends some of his pocket money to buy doggy treats. Lottie is one good dog, their best friend and a companion in a day such as this.

Today is her day off and even if she wanted to go to work her family wouldn't let her; if she went to her office no work would be presented to her, no appointments were made and no phone went through. Even if she went to the other departments to offer some help employees were told to grab whatever work is in her hands and to not acknowledge her offer thanks to her overprotective brothers backed up by Josh and her parents. So what should she do? She might as well take the day to relax, she'll walk Josh to school with Lottie on the leash instead of driving him like she usually does. She goes to the library or to the public park until the time Josh finishes school then picks him up and spends the rest of the day together in the beach or somewhere where they can have a mother and son bonding. How is that possible without a car one might think but whenever they walk, a car is always following them courtesy of Jack 'just in case' was his excuse.

"Tsukushi!!" Tsukasa ran as fast as his long legs could with the rest trailing behind. It had been too long, a minute without her seemed an eternity, how long would an hour seem? a year? It was a long time indeed but now after 6 years he finally saw her again; his dream he so long had now has a possibility to become reality. He could see her petite figure sitting on the grass, her back leaning against the tree. She was a fair way off but he could recognise that familiar figure, her face that he thought of every waking moment of his life even thinking of her in his sleep, his dreams, she is his dream.

The vibrating of her phone interrupted he train of thoughts, the caller id showed 'gorgeous Alexie', she laughed at her friend's antics and pressed the green button.

"Hi darlin'" the person on the other end of the line greeted.

"Hi yourself ALEX", she answered emphasising the last part

"Jo darling how many times have I told you, you can call me Alexis, Alexia, Alexie, goddess, the most beautiful, sexiest person in the world but NOT Alex!" came the reply.

"Fine Ollie, I think I just got a shock from what I just saw"

"Why, what did you see?"

"I don't know but a certain _gorgeous Alexie_ was registered in my phone and I'm quite sure that I've never met a gorgeous Alexie before let alone know one" she cheekily teased.

"Oh you're so bad, anyway remember that design, the one that I told you I didn't like and then you added some details to it?"

"Yeah, that was good for someone who's doodling huh?"

"Well then guess what, I had somebody looking for a simple dress and as you know my shop only has the best ones so she couldn't decide so in the end I had to get that out of my treasure box and as soon as she saw it she loved it" narrated Alexie.

"Hehe, I can be a designer now huh?"

"As long as you're working under me I don't mind" answered Alexie "and as if that dear Jack would let you work anymore, he's complaining that you're working too much as it is".

" Hey Ollie, I got to go now, I need to pick Josh up from school"

"Ok see yah later babe"

"Yeah see you" Jo said as she pressed the red button to end the call. She stood up and made her way to the car.

Mixed emotions filled him: life sprang back in his life as soon as he saw her; excitement as he thought of bringing her back in his life; anxious and nervous of her reactions as they meet once again; frustration that she had not noticed him calling for her. She stood up, dusted herself and walked to a car parked nearby. He was desperate to reach her before the car could take her away from him, desperate to hold her and never let go.

Josh is a very active and outgoing kid he loves to go camping, hiking, walking and kept on asking questions on just about anything and everything except for one subject: his dad. He once asked his mum about it two years ago when he was at the height of his curiosity; he asked his dad's name and his mum was a bit surprised about his sudden interest on the matter but told him nonetheless. From her he found out his name, Domyouji Tsukasa and many things about him, how they met and their friends. However he never found out why he wasn't with them. As soon as he saw his mum's sad face, he hugged her and decided to call it a night before she became any sadder.

If there is anything in the world that he hated the most, it would be to see his mother sad and crying and Josh would do anything that he can to make his mum happy. He is contented that he has her and doesn't need a father is she's only going to be sad. He is a Davies; his family consists of his mum, grandparents, two uncles, Ollie who is widely known as Alexis and Lottie. He doesn't hate his father but he doesn't like him for making his mum sad.

Despite the reminder of the teacher, the students pushed their way out of the classroom eager to save a seat in the school bus or be first to queue in the sweets shop. Little Josh Davies was one of them; he was in a hurry to see his mum.

"Mummy!!" Josh shrieked as he ran to hug her.

"Hello baby how's school?" enquired Jo as she returned Josh's hug.

"It was fun" he answered as he started to relate the events of the day then shivered as Lottie, feeling ignored licked his cheek.

"Lottie can't you see I'm talking to mum?" Lottie, sensing the tone of his voice pulled an innocent face and started to whimper.

"I wonder who she got that from?" a new voice said

"Uncle James you're here"

"Yo kid, yeah, I finished work early so I can spend the rest of the day with an annoying kid", he teased "so where do you want to go mate?" he added.

A week had passed since he saw her and since then he had been staying at the Maple Hotel in London. Even his friends decided to help him find her; work was done via computers and even the wedding preparations were done here. He would go to the park everyday hoping to see her again but luck was not on their side. However he is not just going to give up didn't he tell her that he'll find her wherever she is, even in hell?

They were on their way to see the gay designer again, hopefully this time it wouldn't take long. He doesn't need to hear an annoying gay person's voice yapping away when he can think of her.

"Good afternoon" greeted a shop assistant wearing a nameplate bearing the name of Jade.

"Good afternoon, we have an appointment with Alexis" replied Soujiroh.

"Oh sorry, Alexis is out at the moment but she'll be back in a short while" she said apologetically, very polite for a westerner.

"Doesn't he know how to properly run a business? He is the designer and he has the guts to be late?" Tsukasa asked the saleslady obviously annoyed.

"Sorry but Alexis will be back real soon, she just went out with a friend" answered the saleslady, she hated rude customers.

"Stupid gay person" Tsukasa mumbled under his breath. Just then the door opened revealing Alexis holding a dog, a strangely familiar dog.

"Sorry I'm late" Alexis apologised

"It's fine, no worries" Yuki replied

"Okay I've waster enough time shall we get down to business?" he asked as he led them to the office. He turned to the dog, "Lottie sit down, your mummy will be here shortly".

"Oh she's such a cute dog is he yours?" asked Shigeru. She was informed about Tsukushi and immediately offered her help.

"No she's my friend's" Alexis answered as the girls started to pet Lottie.

...

"Ok so that's decided yeah?" asked Alexis

"Yes I think that's final unless Soujiroh has something to say" Yuki replied and looked at Soujiroh lightly shaking his head.

"Well then, thanks for doing business with us and congratulations again. I'll just call you when it's ready" said Alexis.

"Thank you, yes that's fine" replied Yuki. As they stood up, they heard laughter outside the office.

"That must be Jo" Alexis said and Lottie, upon hearing her owner's name started to bark.

"Lottie, Lottie we're going home". The door slowly opened revealing none other than the person they had been looking for; maybe they weren't so unlucky after all.

"Lott..oh I didn't mean to interrupt, sorry" Jo quickly apologised as soon as she felt that there were people in the office. 'stupid', she silently scolded herself still not looking up. Everybody stood there frozen except Alexis.

"Tsukushi.." Tsukasa whispered so softly that one might think he never said it. Jo snapped her head up, her already big eyes widened at the unexpected sight before her, she heard what Tsukasa said perfectly clear, it was a name she hadn't heard for a long time and the way he said it made her heart stop, his voice was full of love and longing.

"Hey darling" Alexis broke the silence

"Ollie, thanks I saw Chloe and Tasha earlier they said they'll meet you at the pub" Jo was grateful, she didn't know how to face them.

"Ok thanks I'll go now" Alexis looked at the group "bye see you" but he received no reply so he turned back to Jo "darling, tell uncle and auntie I'll drop by tomorrow" and patted Lottie in the head "bye girl" and went out of the office oblivious to the tension that filled the room.

"Tsukushi" Yuki spoke

"Hi Yuki, long time no see" she said looking at everyone but Tsukasa. Tsukasa moved forward and enveloped her in his arms.

"Tsukasa..Tsukasa let go, you're hurting me" Jo said as she gently pushed him away.

Tsukasa loosened his hold on her but still hugging her. "I'm never letting you go, never again, never" he softly whispered so that only she could hear. Jo's body tensed and Tsukasa felt it, "Kushi can you forgive me? sorry for everything I know it's my fault but please I need you, I love you".

"Mum?" a tiny voice called out from outside the door.

Jo immediately pushed Tsukasa sending him straight into Akira who stood behind him. Akira was caught in surprise and fell back on the floor taking Tsukasa with him. If things were different the others would've been rolling on the floor, laughing at the absurdity of a member of the infamous F4 colliding into each other but at this tense-filled time and place the only thing they heard was the loud thud as two of the wealthiest and influential people in Japan went sprawling on the ground.

At that moment they heard some scurrying of feet and shouts of "Mummy! Jo!" and the door flung open revealing a panting boy who immediately ran to Jo's direction.

"Mum what happened?" the little boy asked looking up to Jo.

The moment the group heard it, they were shocked, if they were frozen by seeing Tsukushi, now they became statue-like, no one breathed nor moved.

"Nothing they just fell" pointing to the unmoving people on the floor.

"Hey, hey what happened? asked the same saleslady who greeted them earlier.

"Nothing Jade, too many people in one room, space is too crowded" was Jo's excuse.

"Ah okay" she said and went back.

"Mum who are they? Josh asked as he looked at the group

"Oh they are my friends..." then began to introduce each one of them "...Yuki, my best friend and Domyouji Tsukasa"

"Kush—" Tsukasa started but was cut-off by Josh as he said "hello nice to meet you all, my name is Josh" and bowed in a Japanese manner. He then turned to face his mum, "Mum I only came here to say goodbye, Uncle James and Hayley will be here any minute. Uncle Jack was the one who dropped me here."

"But I thought he's going to Germany?" Jo asked. Jack was supposed to go there for a medical conference.

"Yeah but he said he'll drop me first before going to the airport."

"Ok, are you all set? Need anything else? Don't tire yourself, Uncle James and Hayley huh?" Jo said as they went out of the office followed by the silent group.

"Kid we're going" someone shouted from outside the boutique.

"Susumu" Rui was the first one to recognise him; he hardly looks like the Makino Susumu who they makeovered to impress a girl. In front of them is a man, though clad in only t-shirt and jeans he is definitely a sought after man just like them.

"Long time no see" he greeted to everyone and added "Yuki-chan nice to see you again"

Yuki hugged him who she treated as a younger brother. "Hey, you changed a lot, neh? I remember when the three of us were running around playing hide and seek".

"Yeah I changed a lot, fun times those were" said James.

"Susumu, how are you?" asked Tsukasa

"I'm fine Domyouji-san" James replied in an entirely different manner and tone than what he used to. Gone was the enthusiastic greeting of 'onii-san'.

Then Josh walked towards James and reached up for his jean pockets. "Uncle where are they?"

"Hahah kiddo I got you there didn't I? He said as he picked him up.

Josh pouted his little lips and whispered something which made James laugh. James put him down and handed him a sweet. Josh ran to his mum, handed her the packet and waited for her to open it for him.

While this was all happening, the group continued to watch particularly the F4. Josh was definitely a Domyouji, he looked exactly like Tsukasa except for his hair which he got from Tsukushi: it was straight unlike his father's curly and unruly hair. Just like Tsukasa, he would do anything to get what he wants though through different tactics. If Tsukasa used his power to shout and order, Josh used his family's fondness and love for him, making them dote on him even more and at the same time getting what he wants.

"Hey kid we need to go Hayley's waiting for us" said James

"Okay, bye mum I love you remember don't work too hard"

"Yes dad I won't, anything else? Bye baby, I love you too" as she gave him another hug.

Josh then turned to the group and said "Goodbye, nice meeting you"

"awww... you're so cute, can we have a hug too?" asked an ever bubbly Shigeru.

Josh smiled and hugged Shigeru and Yuki, he then walked up to Rui and stretched his small arm waiting for a handshake. Rui chuckled and shook his hand, he did the same thing to Akira and Soujiroh. He is now in front of Tsukasa looking at him straight in the eye, Tsukasa slowly stretched his hand out and clasped the smaller hand. As soon as their hands touched Tsukasa immediately felt something, he felt that this boy in front of him is a part of him. He knows that everyone's eyes darted to and fro him and Josh, curious and cautious of what he would do next. He doesn't care he was too overwhelmed; he has a son, his and Tsukushi's son and after six years of not seeing or knowing him, here he is holding his hand. He wanted to hug him as soon as he saw him enter the office but his body was there, frozen on the floor. But now he can do what he wanted, to hug him and hug him he did.

* * *

another update  
although it's late

honestly, i had a hard time thinking how they would finally meet face to face  
i kept writing something up just to end up deleting them again..  
so what do you think? 3 meetings in a chapter

i got the names mostly from my friends especially the alexie/ollie one. her name is olivia but she asks eveybody to call her alexis.. imagine the confusion when it comes to legal things.  
isnt jo lucky? she gets to have the new ipod nano.. i want one but i have no money!!

dont forget to review!!

loner29  
xxxx


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: i dont own Hana yori dango

please review!

* * *

"Le-let me go.... let me go!! Mummy!!" yelled Josh pushing Tsukasa to no avail; he was so much stronger than his little body.

Their audience were alarmed not knowing what Tsukasa would do next. Impulsive as he was, they knew that he would never hurt a child especially his own. True, he dislikes children and gets annoyed with them easily but this is a different case, they knew he already loves the boy. If Tsukasa fell in love with Tsukushi at first punch, this was love at first sight; how can he not when it is his child, his and Tsukushi's.

"Domyouji-san let him go" he heard from James and he could hear Jo chanting "Josh" and "baby" again and again.

"Let me go" choked Josh; he was crushed in between Tsukasa's arms.

"Tsukasa let him go, you're hurting Josh" pleaded Jo. Tsukasa slowly pulled back from Josh, he would do anything to get her back even if it meant loosening his hold on his precious son.

"Mummy!!" Josh ran to Jo and hugged her tightly. "It's ok mummy we have to go now Hayley's waiting for us" and kissed her. His Uncle James came to him and patted him in the head but not before throwing Tsukasa a disapproving look.

Josh then stood up to face Tsukasa with a meaningful smile on his face. "I know that we look the same, actually I know that you are my father but that doesn't mean anything apart from the literal meaning of the word; you might be my father but you're not my dad. I may not have a dad but I'm perfectly happy with my family and I don't want and don't need anyone else but them." He whispered so that only Tsukasa could hear then faced the group "Goodbye, see you all again" and once again looked at Tsukasa "See you again, Mister" he said emphasising the last word. With that, he left with his Uncle James.

Tsukasa wanted to stop them from leaving, he wants more time with Josh but he knew he scared him but he was too overwhelmed by what Josh said that he couldn't speak or move. How can such a young boy know those words and speak them full of emotions. He is in pain right now, he just got rejected by his own son saying that only the physical link between them makes him his father and nothing else, no feelings involved and that he didn't want him in his young life. He wants Tsukushi back as well as Josh, they are a family and a family should be together though Josh said so otherwise.

The small shop became quiet, awkwardness filled the room; no one knew what to say and as much as they want to lessen the tension, no one knew the right approach.

Jo didn't know what Josh said to Tsukasa but whatever it was it sure didn't favour Tsukasa. He just stood there dumbfounded: his stance rigid, his eyes full of pain and longing. She wanted to run up to him and comfort him. To wipe those look off his face and replace them with love and happiness but she can't, even if she wants to she can't, not anymore. She's not going to be vulnerable to him, if she did she won't be the only person who'll end up getting hurt; Josh too will be affected and she never ever wants Josh to be hurt in any form or kind.

"Well I suppose you guys would want a word with me?" Jo was first to break the silence. She knew this was going to happen but not now and definitely not in that situation. In the back of her mind, she knew she'll meet Tsukasa again someday, somehow but she didn't expect to meet the whole group. She thought that they'll be busy with their own lives; Soujiroh in particular is going to get married and to her best friend nonetheless. She didn't expect any of them to meet Josh not even 10 minutes of meeting them again and if it's not complicated enough, James too had turned up. Never in her life had she expected for them to all meet again in a boutique. Who in their right minds would go to London all the way from Japan just to look up the perfect wedding dress? But of course F4 did such things; they had more than enough money to shopping in France every other day whenever they wanted to.

"Forever would be the appropriate word" Tsukasa said hoping that his Tsukushi would agree but Jo acted as though she didn't hear anything. It hurts him that she is ignoring him but that doesn't matter now, he just hopes that everything will be as they should soon.

"But an explanation couldn't hurt" Rui quickly added. He didn't want to scare her away; she has been known to run away in situations where she knew she could be caught in between.

"Where are you lot staying? Do you have a house here or are you staying in a hotel round about?" Jo asked.

"We are staying at the Maple Hotel" answered Yuki

"Maybe we could go there, I'd rather discuss things in private and the shop is closing soon enough anyway. Yeah, I think it'll be much better that way." Jo suggested.

"How about in your place? I'm curious where you live" enquired Soujiroh but received a nudge from Akira.

"Hey Akira what's with you?"

"With what you asked her she might hide and run away" gritted Akira through his teeth "Now I wonder if love really makes people stupid"

"Not now Soujiroh, I'm staying at Ollie's or Alexis to you since Josh isn't at home"

"Tsukushi, how about you stay with me?" asked Shigeru

Tsukushi just smiled at her not really answering the question. They first went to Alexis' house and dropped off Lottie. Jo thought of bringing a car but the group persuaded her to just go with them in the limo insisting that they missed her so much. Just as well because Ollie brought two cars for the gig and left a note saying that they couldn't fit in one car and to just call if ever she needs a lift home. Jo wasn't allowed to use a public transport at night time, her family just didn't allow her 'it's too dangerous', 'better safe than sorry' they always said especially now that the knife crime in London has increased dramatically. They arrived at Maple Hotel and decided to use Shigeru's room to talk things out. It is situated at the top floor, a floor reserved for the Domyouji's use only.

"So..." Jo didn't know where to start but better be done and over with; she was sandwiched in between Tsukasa and Yuki in the small settee. Tsukasa's been following her around, getting as close to her as possible yet not a word came out from his mouth since leaving the shop. All he did was stare at her and she was getting worried about it.

"How are you?" asked Rui

"I'm very well thank you" Jo answered and looked at them expecting anyone to say something more but when they didn't, she took the cue and said " We went here after mama and papa's funeral. Ross, papa's best friend brought us here to live with him and his wife and his son, Helen and Jack. They helped Susumu recover from the car accident until he was back to normal again and they also helped and supported me throughout the whole pregnancy period. There you go, that's the gist of it".

"Wait, how about you, how did you manage for all of these years, what did you do for a living?" voiced the group.

"I help out Ross and I'm very grateful of them". The rest of the night was spent answering their questions and exchanging stories. Jo answered all the questions as truly as she can at the same time withholding important facts. She didn't want to tell them about Ross' company, where she lives, her surname for she feared of being found out, she's not ready to fully expose herself yet, not until she is sure of what she wanted.

Time quickly went by and she phoned Ollie to pick her up but Ollie was so drunk, he is not able to drive and told her to stay in the hotel for the night. In the end she had no choice but to stay in one of the rooms in the private floor. At first, Shigeru kept on persuading her to stay in her room but after some time, she agreed to Jo's request.

Jo kept on turning trying to find her sleep but she couldn't. Thoughts bombarded her left and right; thoughts of her past, her future and her present. She thought of her time in Eitoku where it all started; she was bullied by no other than Domyouji Tsukasa, her crush on Hanazawa Rui, Sakurako's evil plot and the love that blossomed between two opposite people: the bully and the bullied. The queen, Domyouji Kaede was a big obstacle in their relationship from insulting her and her family to separating them by sending Tsukasa to New York, even finding him a wife. She thought of the time when Kaede finally accepted them and she can never forget her wedding, every single detail etched in her mind, the scent of the flowers, the song that played as she walked the aisle, the priest's words, and their vows. The words they exchanged are so special that it thirds to _I love you's_ from Tsukasa and Josh.

Josh, oh god Josh. She loves him very much, more than her own life, on look at him can make her happy, and energise her like no other could. Not even energy boosters like Red Bull, Gatorade, Lucozade or Powerade could bring up her energy level as much as he could. Though there are also times when looking at him can be so painful, he is everything like Tsukasa except his hair which he got from her that she cries watching him sleep. She promised never to cry again but no matter how hard she tried, tears just kept on flowing from her eyes. She cries every time she thinks of what could have been, they could've been a happy family all closely knitted to each other but fate or whatever it is didn't allow that to happen.

She thought of the times when she wished Tsukasa was by her side; she so much wanted to share the good news to him, for him to feel the happiness she felt when she found out that a child is growing inside her. She wanted him to be there when she first saw their baby through the ultrasound, to feel the baby's kick, for him to talk to the baby in her stomach. She desperately wished he was there during her emotional outbursts; she felt so low during that time, all confidence gone as if her weed power finally wilted and died. She wanted him to be there during her labour, for him to assure her that everything will be alright. For the whole procedure she shouted nothing but his name; she wanted him to see their child, Josh only seconds after his birth. To be able to hold him and pride in him; to be there when he said his first words; took his first steps; for him to accompany him on his very first day of school. She wanted all these but it was just a wishful thinking on her part, Tsukasa was in the other side of the world busy running his business. Should she give him another chance? A chance to be a part of her and Josh' life or was it a chance for him to hurt her again?

In the other room Yuki also couldn't sleep she kept on thinking about Tsukushi's situation. They had been best friends for the longest time and she couldn't help but feel for her. Tsukushi had always been the one to help her with her problems, she was the first person she would go to whatever happens to her be it good or bad. Now its time for her to return the favour, she wants Tsukushi to be happy and the true happiness of Tsukushi can only be found in Tsukasa. True, she had Josh who also makes her happy but with Tsukasa by her side, she'll be truly and utterly happy not to mention complete again for Tsukushi cannot live without Tsukasa and vice versa. They are two pieces of a whole; one is incomplete without the other.

"Yuki-chan why are you still awake?"

"Soujiroh-kun sorry if I wake you up I'm going to sleep now goodnight"

"Wait, what's bothering you? You know you can tell me anything, wait its about Tsukushi and Tsukasa am I right?"

"Yes"

"Don't worry about them, its Tsukasa after all. What a Domyouji wants, a Domyouji gets but considering how stubborn of a weed Tsukushi is, he might have some problems there" Soujiroh saw Yuki look up at him and added " but Tsukasa is stubborn himself so you don't have to worry about anything. Goodnight" and lightly kissed Yuki.

"Goodnight sweet dreams" Yuki replied as she settled herself to sleep.

"Of course, see you in my dreams"

"Hmmm..."

Soujiroh wished all the best for the young Domyouji couple. He was like Tsukasa before; he also had his insecurities though in a different context. Tsukasa was insecure about Tsukushi's love for him and her close friendship with Rui while he, Soujiroh was insecure about himself. He didn't know if he could ever be faithful to one woman, he was afraid to turn like his father who despite getting married to his mum, bedded different women. Sure he had loved someone before, Sarah was her name, she was his first love but due to his damned Nishikado genes he let her go. She also loved him, the billboards showed so but he was afraid he'll hurt her if his overactive male hormone overcame him. He failed to realise that by letting her go he not only hurt her but himself also.

He didn't want to experience the feeling of being broken hearted hence the one week dating period. He could dump them anytime, no strings attached until Yuki came. He pushed her away from him not wanting to use her and just discard her; she was more than his weekly flings, she deserved more than that and most of all she deserved a man worthy of her love, a man better than himself. He thought it was all for the best, he only wanted to protect her from himself since he respected the fact that she is Tsukushi's friend and Tsukushi was dead set on not allowing his playboy lifestyle anywhere near Yuki. He pushed her so much that she decided to give up and go to Canada but little did he know that he unconsciously learned to love her. He stopped his playful life and after a long time of staying back he went to Canada to pursue his love for her and now, now here she is beside him, loving him regardless of his impurities and he is thankful for that. He now has no reason to be insecure any longer, they both love each other and that love can overcome his insecurities.

Tsukasa was sitting down holding a glass of scotch when he saw Rui plop down next to him.

"Hey Rui how did you get in?"

"The door was open so I let myself in, its already late and you're still drinking"

"How about you? For a man who loves sleep shouldn't you be asleep by now?"

"Fine. Since Josh whispered something to you, you haven't spoken much"

"Oh, it's nothing he just said some things"

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? I'll gladly help if I can."

Tsukasa laughed sarcastically, "help? Why do you want to know what he said? Whenever did Hanazawa Rui care about other people's business? Do you really want to know what he said? Well, he said that I'm only his father not his dad, that he doesn't need me in his life, that I am not his family. Do you know how painful that is, to be told by your own flesh and blood that he doesn't want me, that he is happy with his life without me. And then what can I do? What can I say when it was my fault in the first place. How can I answer him when I was never a father to him, when I spent my time running the company to even notice that he is forming inside Tsukushi's womb? He has the rights to be angry at me, to not recognise me as a father but it still hurts, it hurts so much. I want to be with both of them but I dint know how to. I don't know where to start, she's been distancing herself from me but I love her, god I love her. I want to tell her I'm sorry, I want to hold her and never let go, to spend every single moment of my life with her. Help me, help me to bring her back, please" Tsukasa broke down, tears freely flowing down his face; he is broken, lost without Tsukushi.

"Tsukasa calm down. I'll help you, I told you I will and I'm sure that everyone would but first you have to compose yourself. You have to prove that you love them, which I know you do and do everything to win them back"

"Thank you Rui, I'm sorry I ever doubted you before"

"Past is past Tsukasa. Remember that were all behind you"

* * *

thanks for reading...  
some things that already happened between them might be repeated. this was done on purpose as Tsukasa took all that had happened and never said a word until with the help or not of alcohol, he finally blew and out came his feelings about 'em.  
sorry if you got confused with alexis/ollie, i just dont know how to address him or is it her i dont know so sometimes i might've used he and other times she  
finally, sorry if there were any grammatical errors as i havent the time to proof read it, i only used the spellchecker

loner29  
xxxx


	7. Chapter 7

Hello.. no its not an update but an AN..

Should I or should I not continue this story? I only got, what 1 or 2 reviews for the last chapter and don't know if people like or even read it. I already have a rough draft of the next chapter and I don't really want to waste my time continuing it if it isn't appealing to anyone.

Thanks.....

Loner29 xxxx


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I dont own nothing

Thanks for the reviews. Glad that people are actually enjoying this story.

R&R

Joie is pronounced as Joey..

* * *

"Good morning squirt's mum"

"Good morning to you too squirt's uncle, how is the conference going?"

"Not bad, a lot of proposals are quite interesting but what's interesting me is what James told me. How are you? Are you okay? He told me that he, you and Josh met 'him' and his group of friends. He didn't hurt you did he? Tell me if he did and I'll gladly pulp him."

"Hey hey hold your horses dear brother you're getting ahead of yourself. All we did was talk caught on what happened the past six years and went to sleep as Ollie took to cars with him so I couldn't get back home"

"What about him did you two talk alone?"

"No he rarely spoke after Josh talked to him in the shop though he kept staring at me and getting as close to me as possible. I don't want to talk to him yet, I just can't; it's too sudden I was not expecting to meet him, much more talk to him. I wouldn't know what to tell him if we did. By the way do you know what Josh told him?

"Don't worry, we'll be behind you to support you anytime, all the time. No I don't, James was the one who told me about your meeting and told me about the small conversation that and 'he' had. James himself doesn't have any ideas on what our prince told him and Josh wouldn't open his mouth on what he said. That's Josh for you; he'll tell us when he wants to. Listen lil sis, I have to go the conference is starting now. I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Yeah, see you then. We all miss your childishness here, hope they don't think that you're a five year old there and toss you out of the room"

"Haha funny Jo"

"Love you big brother"

"Love you too Joie, take care, don't overwork yourself and send my love to everyone especially to my one and only favourite nephew.

"I will. Bye"

With that, Tsukushi got up and prepared to meet up with everybody at Shigeru's room. As soon as she saw it she almost did a double take; inside the room were trays upon trays of food.

"Good morning Tsukushi how was your night? Did you sleep well? Are you hungry? There's food here for breakfast" Tsukasa rumbled.

"Good morning. Yes and thank you for letting me stay here and for the breakfast though it is too much and absolutely unnecessary."

"It's yours just as much as its mine" Tsukasa mumbled to quietly to be heard. He had to endure this to be able to win her back only settled for a gentle smile at Tsukushi.

"Hey you wanna go to the beach?" asked Soujiroh

"Seriously Soujiroh, beach?" asked Tsukushi with an incredulous look

"Yeah. What's wrong with the beach?"

"Are you on crack? It's autumn, nearing winter! Even a fish would think it's too cold for a swim!"

"Oh Tsukushi you're no fun" grumbled Soujiroh not seemingly affected by the current water conditions.

"You can go have fun yourself but I'm not going to the beach besides if you really want to swim why don't we go to an indoor swimming pool instead? I know a good, private one and its quite close to the hotel" suggested Tsukushi.

"Okay let's go!"

"Wait! Don't you have to work?"

"Tsukushi, what makes you think that we're here to work?" asked Tsukasa.

"I don't know, that's what you guys go abroad for isn't it, to work. It's not like you'd choose London to go on a holiday with its bizz and buzz plus considering the fact that London is the business capital of Europe. What else could the reason be?"

"Well originally we were here for Yuki's wedding gown but that was a week ago" answered Soujiroh

"What changed?"

"The fact that we saw you at the park. We looked for you since then, going to the park and round about it. We wouldn't let the chance of meeting you again slip. Six years is a long time and we thought that luck was not on our side until we saw you at the dress shop" Rui replied.

"Wait. Yuki, were you the one who can't choose a wedding gown so Ollie had to draw it up from his old chest?"

"Who's Ollie? My designer's Alexis and prefers to be addressed as she"

"Yeah I mean him or her whatever he prefers to be called"

"Oh my golly god! You designed Yuki's dress!!" Shigeru frantically expressed.

"I get it now, I remember her saying that her Asian friend added some details to it that's why she thought I would like it" Yuki mused.

"I didn't know it was you, he has so many Asian customers that even when I saw you I didn't think it would be you. And I didn't design it, he already drew the outlines and I just doodled on it when I thought it was a scrap paper"

"But he told us that you designed it"

"He believes what he wants to believe. The designer thing is like a private joke between us but he seriously takes upon it. Come on lets go".

After spending the better part of the day in the pool, "Wow that was so much fun" Shigeru exclaimed.

"I'm hungry" announced Rui

"You're always hungry" chimed Soujiroh and Akira

"Come on let's go home" offered Tsukushi.

Tsukasa's face fell at this; 'home is where the heart is' was what he always heard. 'Does this mean that my weed doesn't love me anymore?' he thought sadly but quickly pushed the appalling idea. 'Even if she doesn't I still do and I'll do whatever it takes for her to feel the same way'.

"Where home? Your home?" asked Shigeru

"No, Ollie's"

After half an hour of driving they reached the said house. "Here we are"

"So do you often stay here" asked Tsukasa

"Yeah, when Josh is away or whenever really. Oh! Where are my manners? Would you like a tour of the house?"

"Sure"

"Mnnm, Josh' toys are all around the house. Josh likes it here 'cause Ollie just about lets him get away with anything. Look under the table and you'd see Tyra"

"Tyra?" asked Tsukasa

"Yes, she is his T-rex friend who lives under the table and occasionally we'd have a hunt only to end up finding her taking a residence under the beds" answered Tsukushi and proceeded to show them round.

"This is mine and Josh' room"

"Can we go in?"

"Of course, come in"

"Josh and your room? Doesn't he have his own room if you often stay here?" asked Rui who sensed Tsukasa's desperation to acquire more information about his new-found son.

"Sure he does but he sleeps with me and when at home if not with me, he sleeps with one of the family."

That slashed another cut in Tsukasa's heart. Family; the word should describe Josh, Tsukushi and him but now he finds himself outside the family, only able to look in, to only observe and not take part. "do you perhaps have any pictures here? I just want to see—I mean, I don't, ah it doesn't matter if you don't" he stuttered.

"No, it's okay. I have tons of his photos; it's just not right to deny you that you're his father after all." Tsukushi went to the bedside table and came back with several photo albums with her. "Here they are"

Several pictures of her showing her progressing bulge size were shown. "Jack and Susumu were crazily taking pictures while I was pregnant". Next was a photo with her on a stretcher, "That was taken right before I was wheeled in the Delivery Room".

"Wow. How can you smile like that when you're in pain? My friend said it hurt like hell whenever she had contractions" asked Shigeru.

"Course I can, I knew that he will be worth the pain and I couldn't wait to finally meet him at the time"

"Did you deliver normally or by caesarean?" asked Yuki.

"Normal delivery though Jack insisted on CS"

"Wow you're really brave"

"Why Yuki, you're not pregnant are you?"Tsukushi jokingly asked.

"What? No just curious, you know getting married and all"

"Ei I was just joking" Tsukushi said and continued flipping through the album. "Let's skip the last few pages, that was taken only minutes after Josh was born" she said as she took a deep breath, "I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet. I hope you understand where I'm coming from".

"Of course, no need to worry about that. We wouldn't push you with what you're not comfortable with"

After talking for a while, Tsukushi led them to the guestrooms where they would stay the night.

It was a peaceful night; the sky clear, the gentle breeze rustling the trees quietly taking the falling leaves along on its way. In this evening, without the noise of the city, the screaming pollution in every direction and the absence of the howling wind accompanied by the heavy rains laid two people. No, calling them two different people is a blasphemy, an insult for they together form only one soul and no power can be more powerful than that of an incomplete soul seeking for the other half, tackling all obstacles for its survival.

They were basking in the serenity offered by the power of the elements thinking only of each other, conversing not with words or actions for they are physically separated by walls upon walls and doors that can only be unlocked with its fitful key but with their emotions, their thoughts. Mental telepathy, people say but it runs deeper than that much, much deeper than that. As scarlet is redder than red, their love is more than love itself.

People were wrong; differences they may have but it is nothing but a speck compared to their similarities, for the differences are outward only going no deeper than the few millimetres of skin. One may be rich and tall while the other poor and short yet both have a strong will that no other can match; neither stronger than the other. Giving way is the way, not domination. Both are wise and intelligent and yet they are fools for love. Unmannered, temperamental and arrogant they may seem but sweet, gentle and caring are they to whom they love.

And there they were lying on different beds, situated in different rooms, living in countries 10,000 miles apart yet running on their minds are thoughts of the same frequency: them. True, one may be thinking about every sacrifices, every broken promises, the distrust, every suffering, the heartbreak while the other thinking of the unneeded worries, the jealousy, the insecurity, the apology, the sadness, the shattering of the world. However, far surpasses these is the love, the longing, the completeness and the biggest bond that connects them: a young boy, their child who ironically as it may seem is opposite and similar to both of them.

Morning came and the group went downstairs to the sight of Tsukushi busily cooking.

"Hey good morning how was your sleep?"

"Very well thank you" was the simultaneous answer

"Good good breakfast will be ready in a minute"

"You really didn't need to bother we could've gone out to save you the trouble or at least helped to do something" said Yuki

"And what, let the guys wreck Ollie's kitchen? If you know just how many times Ollie almost had a heart attack over the state of his kitchen. Josh and I are banned from being left in the kitchen alone" Tsukushi said while flipping some eggs.

Not a few minutes later, "there you go, the full English Breakfast" she said handing out plates filled with bacon, fried egg, grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms, hash browns and sausages.

"Woah, Tsukushi you remember that we did have dinner last night don't you?" Akira joked

"Haha I know we all ate together anyway I just thought you would like a home cooked meal."

At this Tsukasa sot Akira a glare and Akira could not help bu smirk "Of course. I was just joking"

"Well then shut up and eat!"

"Yes ma'am, gosh so pushy"

"Thank you too"

"So what's the plan for today?" asked Soujiroh

"I don't know, I'm free all day today so I have no problems whatsoever. How about you, what do you usually do on Sundays?"

"We just hang out together" Rui answered

Suddenly the phone rang and Tsukushi got up to pick it up.

"Won't the servants pick it up?" asked Tsukasa

"hmm..ah, no its the private home number" Tsukushi answered Tsukushi as she pressed the green button.

"Hello"

"Mummy!!"

"Hey Josh how are you? I miss you baby. You're behaving for Hayley aren't you?"

"Miss you too mum of course I have and uncle told me to ask you what you meant by only behaving for Hayley"

Tsukushi laughed and Tsukasa's face lit up at the sight and sound of her laughter. He missed this; the way her eyes would sparkle when she laughs, the way her lips would turn upwards to form a smile and just the pure emotion her beautiful face manifests. They continued talking on the phone when her eyes shifted to them and finally locked with his.

"Why don't you ask them? Okay I will wait a minute" Tsukushi then covered the mouth piece of the phone and asked them "Would you like to go to Loughton? Josh, Susumu and Hayley, Susumu's girlfriend are camping there. Josh was a bit shy to ask you himself" Heads nodded and in an hour they were all set to face the Epping Forest.

* * *

Next chapter:

In the middle of the forest clearing stood 3 people to greet them; one unfamiliar and slightly smiling at them, the other looking uncomfortable and the last with a devious smile on his lips.

"What a sissy, you shouldn't have come then"

"So help me god, if only he's not my son I'd have him on the floor by now, child or no child"

* * *

Again, thanks for the support. Okay, not much happenings there but they couldnt just meet after 6 years and return to being the way before. if you've noticed, tsukushi doesn't really joke around with tsukasa.  
It is true that the plot is difficult to resolve but i'm working on it.

loner29  
xxxx


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD!

* * *

The drive took an hour from Ollie's house to the forest. It had been an uncomfortable journey; everyone had been careful not to broach on heavy subjects during the conversation and on several times, either Akira or Shigeru had made attempts on cracking jokes and shared embarrassing stories about each other. Tsukasa had been really nervous, this would be the first time for him to stay and sleep with _his _son.

After parking the SUV on the allocated space, they walked up to the clearing where they would be spending the night. In the middle of the forest clearing stood three people to greet them: one unfamiliar and slightly smiling at them, the other looking uncomfortable and the last with a devious smile on his face.

This was probably the worst place he'd ever been in; it was actually worse than Tsukushi's old flat which was half of his bathroom. But this, this is just stupid! How could he ever sleep in such a confined space and as if it couldn't get any worse, he had to share the tent with Rui, Soujiroh and Akira. At this moment in time and possibly for the next few hours, he will be staying enclosed in a thin film of sheet to protect him from the cold, harsh world outside. Awkwardly shaped trees surround them with all kinds of wild and weird things creeping about. Sure, he'd gone camping before, as all growing boys had but that was so different from this. During all his camping experience it had been at one of the F4's garden, but that was in their playhouse that had soft beds and tous all around. His definition of camping was completely different from Josh's definition; for himit meant sleeping anywhere that didn't have a five star rating. But he really couldn't do anything about it as he wanted his son's affection and he would do anything to spend time with him and Tsukushi, he'd already gone too long without them and wouldn't spend another moment without them if possible.

So this was where he found himself in but at least Tsukushi and Josh were in the tent next to his which made it all bearable. Actually he was wrong, the worst place he'd ever been in is in his own house; without Tsukushi there it didn't feel like home at all, it was just an office away from the office. It was the place to return to after work only to continue slaving himself with work. He'd be happy to sleep on just a sleeping bag absolutely anywhere if his family was with him rather than stay in a lavish hotel without anyone to hold on to or in his room, his head dropping on one side in front of the computer. He couldn't even sleep on the same bed where he and Tsukushi spent time on sleeping, making love, talking and cuddling. He doesn't want to feel her side of the bed cold and unslept on. To savour her sweet smell before going to sleep and to do it as soon as he woke up was pure bliss, to see her smile as she said goodnight, to sleep and wake up with her in his arms, to share a kiss every time they wanted to.

This is good enough, Tsukushi might still not be with him as he sleeps tonight or wake up in the morning but he is contented to see her before she went in her tent and he'd wake up early to see her go out of her tent and be the first to greet her a good morning. Then Josh, he could also greet him, start being the dad he should've been before. With that, Domyouji Tsukasa slept with a smile on his lips for the first time in a long time.

The smile on Tsukasa's face gradually left as the day went on. He had been so happy as he greeted Tsukushi a good morning granted, he wasn't the first to greet her but he couldn't do anything about it as Josh was in the same tent as Tsukushi but being the second to his son wasn't too bad, except when Josh had to whisk her away to go for an early morning walk. What kid wakes up early to go for a stroll? Ah, of course he is Tsukushi's kid, he must've gotten that from her. He never had the chance to talk to her again as by the time they returned, everybody had woken up.

* * *

Jack had returned home from Germany expecting his nephew to greet him in excitement even before setting foot inside the house but there was no "Uncle Jakey" from anywhere. He went to the sitting room to find his father having an early cup of tea.

"Dad where's squirt and what are you doing drinking your tea here?"

"Oh. He went camping with James and Hayley but then he phoned Joie and asked her and her friends to go camping with them too. And I'm drinking my tea here because your mum decided to redesign all the rooms except for the bedrooms and this room so I'm stuck here! I can't even go to the study!"

"Oh. I'll go for a rest now"

"You do that. Anyhow, aren't you a day early? I'm quite sure you're supposed to be home tomorrow and not today"

"Yeah, well I've finished my presentation and got bored so I came home."

* * *

Josh surprised him when he walked up to him after they had their breakfast: baked beans on toast all cooked by the camp fire they had and asked him for a short walk; pretty much like the one he and Tsukushi had earlier. He looked up to see Josh's expecting gaze and moved his eyes to see that everyone's eyes were glued to them, watching and waiting for what's going to happen next.

* * *

AN  
This chapter focused on Tsukasa's feelings, a bit cheesy and can be overwhelming but I think that what he is feeling right now can be expected from someone who had been looking for the love of his life for a long time and then find her with a kid, his kid.

AN take 2  
Sorry for not updating after such a long time.  
I've been really busy: went to France in Jan/Feb  
Philippines in March/April then France again in July.  
In August I found out that I failed my Maths... So I'm really sorry for not updating! dont forget to review!

Loner29  
xxxx


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